Have you ever been in a place in your life that you know you have a lot of things to do but you can't seem to do any of it at all? It seems like your mind is too pre-occupied with what to do first that you end up doing nothing at all? Well, i've been into that situation many times over, and i don't like it. It doesn't do good with the workings of my soul and it pulls me down everyday.
There are things you want to do, then there are your responsibilities that grapples your own interests sometimes, then there are those things that other people expect from you. Like in my case, my parents wants me to follow in their footsteps in business. Yes, it is a welcome opportunity for me especially economically. But deep down, i am an artist and would love to express myself freely without carrying that guilt of not doing completely what they expect of me - that really bothers me big time. I feel like i'm a bad person for not doing what they exactly say. Maybe i am, maybe i'm not. I know time will open itself to me and make me understand better sooner or later. Till then, i have vowed to myself to be docile to my parents starting this year 2009. Anyway, i owe it to them. They've been wonderful parents, not perfect, but nevertheless, a wonderful couple who both have good traits worth emulating. So there, i guess through this writing i have answered my own question about what to do in my life - for now.
I am going to try to please them, this year is for them. I know my own time will come. I know one day, God will allow me to really pursue my dreams and soar high, no longer hanging on to that guilt that has destroyed my hope once upon a time. I feel it. I am pretty sure you will agree with me when i say that; it never hurts to put others first before oneself. So help me God that i may be able to do this!
This is my thought for the day... till then...
Godspeed everyone!
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